Raff Out Loud

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About Me

About Me

Hey There! My name is Raffinee, but most people call me Raff. My wife, Micaela and I are Bay Area locals and mom to three toddlers born 7.5 months apart. Want to know more? Just ask!

Instagram

  • Ok we’re doing it!!! Later this month we are headed to Walt Disney World in Orlando, Florida with our crew!🎡 We are SO excited as it will be a first time for ALL of us🥳 For those who have been, I’d love to hear any tips on navigating the park, which rides are best for toddlers AND of course- where the 🌱vegan food is at! We will be staying in Orlando for a couple of days so if there is anything else we should do while we are there let us know!♥️
  • Last June Micaela and I joined @celebritycruises for their 🌈Pride Party at Sea and quite literally had the time of our lives! We met so many amazing people in our community and celebrated our colors. So I’m bursting at the seams to announce that we will be joining Celebrity again on the International Women’s Day Cruise!🛳 For the FIRST time in history, Celebrity will be operated by an ALL-FEMALE bridge AND officer team! With @captainkatemccue 👩🏻‍✈️leading the group, this crew of women from 17 different countries will be guiding us to the 🏝Caribbean March 8- March 15 AND WE WANT YOU TO COME TOO!! Come be part of history and join us this ground breaking voyage to celebrate gender equality👩🏽‍🤝‍👩🏼, soak up some☀️sun and see for yourself why so many of us are obsessed with Celebrity! Check the link in my bio to learn more ⚓️
  • ⁣I’ve been thinking a lot about acceptance lately and what it means to have a seat at the table. To truly have a open seat, a voice, the space, the opportunity, the option- to make a choice as a member of 🌈our community. For some, like myself, daily discrimination isn’t a thing. We are palatable. We express certain gender roles and are honestly, relatively easily accepted (most of the time!) in this part of the world. We are lucky. We are privileged. But for others it’s not so easy. ⠀ ⠀ Maybe you love Ellen and her show. She’s famous and funny and easy to like, but that OTHER lady at work with a shaved head is just “too out there.” Or maybe you can get behind what I say here, but if you found out YOUR child was 🏳️‍🌈LGBTQ+ you just couldn’t deal. Or maybe you can be onboard with the gay and lesbian community, but the transgender community, and “those non-binary folk” take it a step too far. ⠀ ⠀ If you DO have those beliefs, I challenge you to ask yourself why. Don’t run and hide in shame for feeling that way, instead take OWNERSHIP, do the work, and unpack why you hold on to those beliefs.⠀ ⠀ Did your mom say something to you when you were little about gender roles? Maybe you saw something on TV that really impacted your views on sexuality, or maybe a leader at your church flat out told you it was wrong, or maybe you have no idea why you feel the way you do and have some soul searching to do. ⠀ ⠀ So many different things can, and do, impact how we come to view the world and the people in it. But here’s the kicker- now you are an adult. Now YOU get to decide how YOU feel about things. Now YOU get to call BS and challenge those beliefs that are deeply engrained in your head- SO👏🏼DO👏🏼IT👏🏼!⠀ ⠀ Blaming your beliefs on religion, how you were raised, or because that’s “how it’s always been” is no longer acceptable. Humans deserve more than these cop-outs and our 🌈community deserves more humanity than this ✊🏻✊🏼✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿
  • 👰🏻♥️👰🏻 My dad wasn’t at my wedding to walk me down the aisle. He wasn’t there for the “father daughter” dance. He wasn’t there to celebrate the love I found with Micaela💓And he wasn’t there to wish us well on this important new chapter in our lives. He claimed that for “religious reasons” he couldn’t show up for me. Ironically enough, you know who did show up? A priest. A priest married Micaela and I- in a church no less ⛪️ He believes, like us, that there is a place for the LGBTQ+ community in the church. He believes, like us, that no person should be shamed out of religion, because of who they love. 🌈And while his beliefs may currently be in the minority, they make an incredibly strong statement- He stands with us ♥️🧡💛💚💙💜
  • Just three happy kids being raised by two moms! ♥️ In case anyone needs to hear this today, kids need love- not a family structure defined by society. 🌈Don’t let other people’s rules about family determine how you choose to grow yours. Family is family and love is love ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
  • A few weeks I came out to my Physical Therapist (yes I’m STILL recovering from my foot I broke in September 😂) It was one of those moments where I so easily could have just said nothing or changed the subject- but instead I outed myself. To him. To the aids. And to the entire room of patients. And you know what? No one even seemed to care 🤷🏻‍♀️ There wasn’t a double take, an odd glance, or even skeptical eyebrow raises. It’s moments and times like this where I can’t help but feel so PROUD of our 🌈community and our allies. WE have come such a long way and I truly believe change for our community is coming- and we are SO ready! ♥️🧡💛💚💙💜♥️
  • ⁣With so much talk about climate change last year, I feel like so many of us are making a big effort to change some of our habits in 2020- for the planet and for future generations♻ Every DAY 94,000 trees are cut down to make products many of us use and consume ONCE 🤯 @Grovecollaborative is making a huge effort to reduce that number by selling paper products made from bamboo, one of the most sustainable resources on the planet! 🎋Bamboo can grow up to THREE feet in 24 hours, so utilizing it to make more of our products just makes sense. ⠀ ⠀ There are so many things we can do as individuals to preserve our mother 🌍 for future generations. What’s one way you are going to help this year? ⠀ ⠀ Oh and make sure to check out my stories to see the Bamboo paper products and other goods Grove is offering you guys when you spend $20 or more! #grovecollaborative #grovepartner
  • Starting the first day of 2020 off right! 🏖Somedays I have these moments where I can’t believe this is my family and today is definitely one of those days🌈 Like THIS happened!! I somehow I found the courage to come out. We actually got married. And we found a way to have kids( So many of them🤣) Feeling all the feels today! Cheers to 2020 being everyone’s best year yet!❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
  • 8 years ago yesterday, Micaela and I had our first kiss! 💋 I’ll never forget that feeling of FINALLY being able to kiss the girl that I had been secretly (and then not so secretly) into for so many years. I’m telling you it was fireworks!🎆🎇 Well fireworks and a mix of disbelief that my unicorn chase had finally come to an end. Eight years later, and I still got her🥰 So happy kissiversary babe and shout out to all the other unicorn chasers🦄 out there still chasing- you got this! ♥️ #unicornchaser

Find me on The Gram

Recent Posts

  • Family Trip to Salt Lake City
  • 10 Lesbian Accounts From Around The World You Should Follow On Instagram
  • I Came Out As A Lesbian While I Was Married To A Man.

Recent Comments

  • Anonymous on The Cost of Having a Baby Via IUI
  • Anonymous on I Came Out As A Lesbian While I Was Married To A Man.
  • Cómo explorar tu lado queer cuando tienes una pareja heterosexual – Factor Noticia on I Came Out As A Lesbian While I Was Married To A Man.

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Instagram

  • Ok we’re doing it!!! Later this month we are headed to Walt Disney World in Orlando, Florida with our crew!🎡 We are SO excited as it will be a first time for ALL of us🥳 For those who have been, I’d love to hear any tips on navigating the park, which rides are best for toddlers AND of course- where the 🌱vegan food is at! We will be staying in Orlando for a couple of days so if there is anything else we should do while we are there let us know!♥️
  • Last June Micaela and I joined @celebritycruises for their 🌈Pride Party at Sea and quite literally had the time of our lives! We met so many amazing people in our community and celebrated our colors. So I’m bursting at the seams to announce that we will be joining Celebrity again on the International Women’s Day Cruise!🛳 For the FIRST time in history, Celebrity will be operated by an ALL-FEMALE bridge AND officer team! With @captainkatemccue 👩🏻‍✈️leading the group, this crew of women from 17 different countries will be guiding us to the 🏝Caribbean March 8- March 15 AND WE WANT YOU TO COME TOO!! Come be part of history and join us this ground breaking voyage to celebrate gender equality👩🏽‍🤝‍👩🏼, soak up some☀️sun and see for yourself why so many of us are obsessed with Celebrity! Check the link in my bio to learn more ⚓️
  • ⁣I’ve been thinking a lot about acceptance lately and what it means to have a seat at the table. To truly have a open seat, a voice, the space, the opportunity, the option- to make a choice as a member of 🌈our community. For some, like myself, daily discrimination isn’t a thing. We are palatable. We express certain gender roles and are honestly, relatively easily accepted (most of the time!) in this part of the world. We are lucky. We are privileged. But for others it’s not so easy. ⠀ ⠀ Maybe you love Ellen and her show. She’s famous and funny and easy to like, but that OTHER lady at work with a shaved head is just “too out there.” Or maybe you can get behind what I say here, but if you found out YOUR child was 🏳️‍🌈LGBTQ+ you just couldn’t deal. Or maybe you can be onboard with the gay and lesbian community, but the transgender community, and “those non-binary folk” take it a step too far. ⠀ ⠀ If you DO have those beliefs, I challenge you to ask yourself why. Don’t run and hide in shame for feeling that way, instead take OWNERSHIP, do the work, and unpack why you hold on to those beliefs.⠀ ⠀ Did your mom say something to you when you were little about gender roles? Maybe you saw something on TV that really impacted your views on sexuality, or maybe a leader at your church flat out told you it was wrong, or maybe you have no idea why you feel the way you do and have some soul searching to do. ⠀ ⠀ So many different things can, and do, impact how we come to view the world and the people in it. But here’s the kicker- now you are an adult. Now YOU get to decide how YOU feel about things. Now YOU get to call BS and challenge those beliefs that are deeply engrained in your head- SO👏🏼DO👏🏼IT👏🏼!⠀ ⠀ Blaming your beliefs on religion, how you were raised, or because that’s “how it’s always been” is no longer acceptable. Humans deserve more than these cop-outs and our 🌈community deserves more humanity than this ✊🏻✊🏼✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿
  • 👰🏻♥️👰🏻 My dad wasn’t at my wedding to walk me down the aisle. He wasn’t there for the “father daughter” dance. He wasn’t there to celebrate the love I found with Micaela💓And he wasn’t there to wish us well on this important new chapter in our lives. He claimed that for “religious reasons” he couldn’t show up for me. Ironically enough, you know who did show up? A priest. A priest married Micaela and I- in a church no less ⛪️ He believes, like us, that there is a place for the LGBTQ+ community in the church. He believes, like us, that no person should be shamed out of religion, because of who they love. 🌈And while his beliefs may currently be in the minority, they make an incredibly strong statement- He stands with us ♥️🧡💛💚💙💜
  • Just three happy kids being raised by two moms! ♥️ In case anyone needs to hear this today, kids need love- not a family structure defined by society. 🌈Don’t let other people’s rules about family determine how you choose to grow yours. Family is family and love is love ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
  • A few weeks I came out to my Physical Therapist (yes I’m STILL recovering from my foot I broke in September 😂) It was one of those moments where I so easily could have just said nothing or changed the subject- but instead I outed myself. To him. To the aids. And to the entire room of patients. And you know what? No one even seemed to care 🤷🏻‍♀️ There wasn’t a double take, an odd glance, or even skeptical eyebrow raises. It’s moments and times like this where I can’t help but feel so PROUD of our 🌈community and our allies. WE have come such a long way and I truly believe change for our community is coming- and we are SO ready! ♥️🧡💛💚💙💜♥️
  • ⁣With so much talk about climate change last year, I feel like so many of us are making a big effort to change some of our habits in 2020- for the planet and for future generations♻ Every DAY 94,000 trees are cut down to make products many of us use and consume ONCE 🤯 @Grovecollaborative is making a huge effort to reduce that number by selling paper products made from bamboo, one of the most sustainable resources on the planet! 🎋Bamboo can grow up to THREE feet in 24 hours, so utilizing it to make more of our products just makes sense. ⠀ ⠀ There are so many things we can do as individuals to preserve our mother 🌍 for future generations. What’s one way you are going to help this year? ⠀ ⠀ Oh and make sure to check out my stories to see the Bamboo paper products and other goods Grove is offering you guys when you spend $20 or more! #grovecollaborative #grovepartner
  • Starting the first day of 2020 off right! 🏖Somedays I have these moments where I can’t believe this is my family and today is definitely one of those days🌈 Like THIS happened!! I somehow I found the courage to come out. We actually got married. And we found a way to have kids( So many of them🤣) Feeling all the feels today! Cheers to 2020 being everyone’s best year yet!❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

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